We Cats Demand Humans Pay Rent

Written by: Kelli Brinegar
For more than five years, Kelli Brinegar has been using her ability to write and her passion for research to tell the tale of what cats are thinking and why. She has provided care to more than 30 cats in her lifetime.Read more
| Published on May 1, 2020

We, the cats of the world, have had enough of our humans being home. And we, the pawed ones, have come to a decision.

Cats of all patterns and breed hereby declare we want to charge the humans rent for all the time they’re spending at home. Lingering in our sunshine patches, lounging on our couches, and working at our computer desks.

For the inconvenience of dealing with all your noise as we try to have our daily naps, we demand payment!

Now, don’t misunderstand, we love you dear humans, and you being home has been great with all the extra food and toy time, but as cats, we need some extra compensations for our troubles in dealing with you.


A Cat Among Cats States His Demands

This idea of charging rent to humans came to us from Steve Malley, a black cat grown wise in his five years among people.

We, the cat collective, thank our illustrious leader for his guidance in this most important of feline matters. He shares our thoughts, telling his human, “The first couple of weeks, I was like ‘Oh, okay, you’re here all day again. Like yesterday, and the day before. Fine. I’ll cope.”


Yes, we cats thought this situation novel, but now, you’re wearing on our nerves. You’ve most likely noticed all the extra ear flicks we’ve been sending your way. Or maybe you’ve missed the plethora of annoyed tail swishes.

VIP PetCare/Facebook

Mr. Malley admits, he, like the rest of us, has enjoyed the extra snacks though. “And yeah, I guess I took advantage and got a few extra treats.”

And this admission does raise a subject that deserves its own claws within our agreement. We, as always hungry felines, decree that treat allotment and time of delivery shall be upon our whims.

Cuteness Alert/Facebook

With all the news humans are watching, we, the most of intelligent of creatures, have learned this stay at home business is not over yet. It seems this virus might be around for a while and we agree with Mr. Malley’s summation.

“I think we need to move things onto a more formal basis.”

Fair Price According to Cat Tallies

A UK moggy, Mr. Malley decided, and in tallying on our whiskers, we agree, “Let’s start it at an extra £235 a week, with the understanding that I get the first refusal on all patches of sunlight and you knock before coming into the back yard.”


Just kidding, humans, don’t go. We, the cats of the world, actually enjoy your company, even if we sometimes ignore you or hiss at you. Cats have taken a vote, and we’ve decided you’re pretty pawesome and we love you!

Please stay safe so our feeding schedules remain undisturbed!

H/T: www.thedailymash.co.uk
Feature Images: @dunderkitten/Instagram & @erin.e.hawes/Instagram